Telling Me What I Can Wear?

hqdefault

The other day while walking through the Walmart parking lot, I noticed a woman who was wearing a t-shirt that said, “Leggings are not Pants!”.  Since I was taken aback by this slogan, and I was wearing the seemingly outlawed leggings, I simply pivoted as I passed her, so that she could see that I was indeed not only wearing leggings but using them just like pants!  (On a side note, maybe I should have been wearing them as a headscarf? – I’ve always assumed you wore them as pants.  Have I been mistaken all this time?)  – Oh, the horror of it all.  This of course reminded me of the school and airline bans all aimed at leggings and yoga pants.  We also have had legislators who have tried to make not only leggings and yoga pants illegal, but also female nipples – now don’t get too cold, women, you might get arrested!  I have a problem with other people telling me (or anyone) what we can and cannot wear.  The interesting thing about all these bans, is that, of course they have to do with what women and girls are wearing.  This is not about banning clothes that men wear.

From my own observations, it is quite obvious that the problem isn’t so much what women are wearing, as it is the male reaction to those articles of clothing.  Lest you think that it only has to do with what we’re wearing in our day-to-day lives; our clothing is used to shame us as well.  You get catcalled?  Well, look at what you’re wearing – you deserve it!  Raped?  Well look what you were wearing – you were asking for it.  On a personal note, after I was assaulted, beaten and left for dead, one of the responding police officers offered up the observation that my extremely large sweat pants and hoodie were somehow to blame for the assault.  There was no skin to see other than my face and hands, but that was the problem.  My face and hands were somehow “asking for it”.  This shaming and focusing on women and girls is the problem.  Boys and men need to step up and realize that they are sharing the world with females, who have a right to dress as they like.  Just get over it already – after all, we have to deal with your Speedos!

I’ve left some links below.  Look into the situation and let me know what you think.

http://www.thejournal.ie/ban-yoga-pants-leggings-united-states-1935822-Feb2015/

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/04/more_schools_moving_to_outlaw.html

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/united-banned-girls-leggings-flight-article-1.3010391

25ba905ff6892aa29e16de5c1a0c33b4--body-shapes-bikini-bodies

Advertisements

What are “Incels”?

tumblr_mxwinehf5H1rkzjubo1_500

After the attack in Toronto, I began seeing the term “incel”, and I was curious, since I’d never heard that word before.  So, I decided to find out more about these people (men), who identify as such.  The term “incel” is a combination of the two words involuntarily celibate.  These are men who no matter what they say and/or do, cannot get women to have sex with them.  They have many forums on-line where they share their frustration and hatred toward women.  Their views toward women includes the belief that women are shallow and only interested in “alpha men”, thus, the fact that they can’t get any women to hop into bed with them is due to failings on the part of women.  There is no  failure on the part of the men, instead the failure is the women’s as they are shallow and lacking.  This is a great way to blame other people for your own failures.  These men are under the impression that women “owe” them sex, just for the very fact that they are men.  Women are put here on earth in order to “service” them whenever and wherever.  The unfortunate fact is, there seem to be a lot of sites across the internet that feed into this misogynist thinking.

z0r36xomtkaz

This is an example of Incel thought.

There have been a few mass murders committed by men who are a part of this community.  Alek Minassian (Toronto) and Elliot Rodger (Santa Barbara).  Both of these men have admitted they are part of the incel movement, specifically what is known as the “Incel Rebellion”.

I’ve left some links for you to read for more information regarding this community.  What do you think of this?  Do you feel that women should be worried?  Do you feel that this the men who act out by committing murder are terrorists?

https://www.vox.com/world/2018/4/25/17277496/incel-toronto-attack-alek-minassian

https://thinkprogress.org/incels-are-wildly-celebrating-the-toronto-van-attack-c57d4702d196/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=tp-letters

4cdb283d183b5f7874348a006cf0e4ed

Goals Re-cap for March 2018

my-ultimate-goal-is-to-be-better-today-than-yesterday-motivational-gym-quotes

This is the story of March…or really the story of my not achieving all my goals.  You can decide which story it is, but in reality, it’s a little of both.  Okay, we’ve had five (5)!! Nor’easters this month.  Seems more than a little excessive to me.  So, no Spring Cleaning.  I’ve done plenty of wood hauling and kindling making, though!  I am simply done with winter…but still it’s not done with me.  I am such a lucky person!

The other goals that did not get accomplished were my writing, my certificate and my website.  Working on these, but not accomplished yet.

I have achieved one goal, yes, I have worked out every single day this month (year)!  Yay me!  I can feel myself getting stronger and fitter – now, if only I didn’t hurt so much!  No, it’s really only the usual working-out aches and pains.

How did your month go?  Did you accomplish your goals?  Let me know in the comments below.

c9e161a44808e6ed586e7563730010bb--inspirational-quotes-and-sayings-determination

Religious Freedom Division in the Federal Health & Human Services Department

religiousfreedom_gb

What in the heck is “religious freedom”, and what does it mean to your health?  Here is a definition of “religious freedom” from the people who want the legal right to “practice” it.

“… is the right to use religious beliefs as a license to discriminate, and to provide special protections for Christians that fly in the face of the First Amendment.”  https://newrepublic.com/article/140645/trump-republicans-redefining-religious-freedom-favor-christians

So, now that we have the definition down, what is going to happen to you, if you need to go to a health provider?  Well, the following may happen to you if you are the following:  the child of a gay couple who needs health care; a LGBTQ+ person in need of health care; another religion, including but not limited to: Muslim, Hindu, or something other than Christian.  How will you be denied care?  Well, if your health care provider does not “believe” in contraception, he/she need not offer it to you as part of your health insurance, because their beliefs are more important than your care.  The same holds true if you need the “morning after pill” regardless if that is because of rape, incest, or another reason – no need for you to take it, since an unwanted pregnancy is a “silver lining”, or even an “unexpected gift from God”.   Because this is the “belief” of the health provider, you don’t get a choice.  Another problem with this new law is that if a woman needs an abortion, and there are a variety of medical reasons for this, including a dead fetus, the hospital or doctor can deny them the choice, leaving them with a) having to endure an induced labor and a still birth; b) carrying a dead fetus and hopefully not dying herself due to a septic womb.

Another item to take note of here, this “religious freedom” is used to control women and their health decisions along with anyone who is not a cis man.  I don’t see anyone worrying about prescriptions for Viagra, or even prostate examinations.

However, the most interesting question is this – whose religion is it that we must worry about with this freedom of religion?  Is it only the Christian religion, or does this also include:  Hindu, Muslim, the Church of Satan?  Is there a line, and if so where is it?  This opens a huge legal can of worms, and it will be interesting to see where it leads.  I’ve left some links for you if you want to know more about this subject.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/trump-administration-could-narrow-affordable-care-acts-contraception-mandate/2017/10/05/16139400-a9f0-11e7-92d1-58c702d2d975_story.html?utm_term=.8d7198460d17

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-healthcare-religion-legal/trump-move-on-healthcare-religious-freedom-prompts-discrimination-fears-idUSKBN1F800L

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2018/2/6/1737656/-A-Trump-official-wanted-to-forcibly-reverse-an-unaccompanied-teenager-s-medical-abortion?detail=emaildkre

quotation-barack-obama-freedom-live-force-religious-mean-meetville-quotes-119736

Aging and the Assumption that I am Infirm

Ive-fallen-I-cant-get-up

Okay, I admit that I’m “of a certain age”, however, I must insist that I am not infirm!  My mail boxes, both on-line and the actual mail box are full of “adult” ads for aids such as:  the infamous “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” buttons; adult diapers, gadgets to help me pull up my own socks – because apparently not only am I too infirm to get up off the floor, I wet myself and I cannot bend over to touch my own toes (while sitting down!).  I keep getting phone calls trying to sell me buttons to summon help, hiring a “companion/homemaker”, and to convert my shower into one for people who need to sit down, complete with bars I can hang onto.  And then, there are all the ads for “retirement homes”.  Like I’d enjoy living in an area where everyone is in the same age group.  Who would I play with?  Seriously, who would I color with and play trucks with?  Who would I run around the backyard with?  I really need my younger (much younger) playmates.  Can you imagine the boredom?

f6701a2971018e2cbad7af828afce5d8--silly-quotes-good-quotes

I am still in my 50’s, and my husband just turned 60.  Are Americans so infirm at our ages that we all need these products?  I’m also getting calls about less-expensive pharmaceuticals for my imagined diabetes, high blood pressure, extra weight, feet problems, and more!  Are there so many of us in our 50’s and early 60’s who have these health issues?  I hope not, for that makes certain assumptions about our health that are downright frightening.  At my last visit to the doctor he did state that it is unusual for a woman my age to not be on some kind of medication.

8b4c625d7e9d7774d90e0cfe6e5823ed--old-age-quotes-aging

Since diet is everything when your health is concerned, I know that I eat much better than the average American.  While the health benefits of no longer consuming oil or animal products has been outstanding, it is a little disconcerting to realize that the typical American needs medicine at my age.  Just think of the money the average American spends on prescriptions.  We could use that money for purchasing better food, and enjoying the benefits to our health.

If it is true that the “typical” American my age is taking so many medications, please, please do yourselves the favor of going to https://nutritionfacts.org/  and reading the information there.  Dr. Greger is the author of the book How Not to Die, and his information is science-based.  Change your diet and you change your life.  Get healthy so you can stay healthy for years to come.  And maybe we all won’t be getting harassed by all those annoying calls and ads.

e2cda0a4bcfce6081528e650e1a8650a--helen-mirren-quotes--and-fabulous

 

 

Sexual Harassment

EndSH_Flier5

I grew up in an environment where if a boy in fourth or fifth grade pushed, hit, or shoved a girl, that girl was told “oh, he likes you”, and he was not punished, or even reprimanded.  Of course, being me, my reaction to being pushed, hit and/or shoved was to usually do the same back.  Now, just guess as to who it was who got reprimanded.  Yes, it was me, since a girl was always expected to be nice, no matter what.  That’s what we were told, no matter what someone did to you, be nice.

1c8c15590d106bebf3a495cead1006d1--street-harassment-public-spaces

All this conditioning has a price.  That price follows us all our lives, and causes women to “put up” with verbal and sexual harassment without saying anything.  It also causes us to not speak up about other kinds of mistreatment – after all, who want to be known as a “bitch”.  Yes, this is another instance where we’ve allowed others to monitor our voices and behavior.

When I was young, it wasn’t unusual for me to be “felt up” while I was riding the bus, in an elevator, or in other situations.  Did I say anything?  Usually not, however, the spikes of my pumps got quite the workout.  I hope that I did plenty of damage to the offending man’s toes and/or insteps.  The fact of this harassing behavior, is of course, designed to make woman and girls to feel “less than”.  The list of behavior goes on and on: “ratings” based on our looks; verbal abuse telling us to “smile”, trying to force women and girls to interact with strange men – and threatening comments when these men are ignored; women and girls being reduced to just their body parts – the dehumanization of an entire gender.

The examples of rotten comments are too long to list.  However, my husband has told me in just the last few days that I chop wood “like a girl”; and I throw the Frisbee to the dog, “like a girl”.  In my head I thought – if you’re so much better at chopping wood, why the heck aren’t you doing it?

zq3lgey0zzrdrxzwus1r

These comments are considered “normal”, and often if a woman says anything she is considered to be a “bitch”, or a liar, or both.  When we stand up for our rights as human beings, we are told to shut up and be nice.  Being nice has gotten us things.  The biggest “thing” that being nice has gotten us is less wages than men.  Yay!  What a testament to being nice.  Look at the offensive comments that were made by men, about Hilary Clinton when she ran for president.  The sad thing is that some of those same negative comments were also said by women.

Fifty-three percent of white women voted a known sexual predator into national office.  Really?  What the heck is wrong with you?  I will never understand people who vote against themselves.  And, this political party has proved itself to be the party of sexual predators.  Get your head on straight, women.  Together we will be an unstoppable force.  Stand together as one, and see the entire world change for the better.

6a96cc2d4295aff1cd5209e3154744fe--michelle-obama-stand-up

 

Belittlement

To-Belittle-is-To-Be-Little-e1405394947155

The definition of belittlement is to treat someone as less than.  This is something that happens all day, every day to a lot of people.  How do you treat your waitress?  How about the cashier?  It’s an easy, and apparently gratifying thing for many people to engage in.  But, even though belittling others is designed to make you look superior to them, what does it really say about the person who engages in it?  What I really want to talk about is how in your interpersonal relationships people really have to understand that just because someone is family, it doesn’t mean that the usual rules of engagement go out the window.

There is one person in my immediate family who has this habit of sitting and doodling wavy lines on a piece of paper whenever I open my mouth to say something.  Needless to say, I don’t often speak when he is around.  Instead, he speaks and I listen.  My assumption is that my role in our relationship is to listen to him and keep my mouth shut.  At least that is what our relationship has devolved to.  Does this make me want to spend any time with him?  No, of course not.  However, whenever I get upset about his behavior, I remind myself that this way of behaving says a lot more about him than it does about me.

46dd6ca7d98bfd54fde4d062c4d0eef4

Being part of a community, no matter how large (or small), means that respect has to be shown as well as given.  One person can’t insist on respect while at the same time denying it to others.  There must be a mutual way of behaving, or any kind of communication will fail.  Has this behavior been directed at you?  Have you dealt with it, or have you just ignored it?  I understand that when one is in an inferior position (such as a waitress or cashier) there is really nothing to do but ignore this behavior.  However, when it occurs in a social (or family) relationship, how do you deal with it?  Let me know in the comments below.

42bacbdbda0a77fec00b9ec83c9ba20e--quotes-about-rudeness-quotes-about-rude-people