Problem talk is something that we all do. Some of us do it more than others. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the problem talk and completely forget that there is usually a solution. We are the ones who usually have the solution inside ourselves, if only we spent some time thinking about solutions, and not wasting our time by complaining. Sound familiar? I’m guilty of it and almost everyone I know is guilty of it, also.
While complaining about a problem has its place; there is a lot to be said for venting, after all, frustration is a valid emotion, problem talk is not a solution. It’s just not going to get the problem solved. And, at the end of the day isn’t that what we really want? To get the problem solved.
Here are some questions to ask yourself the next time you find yourself caught up in the never-ending problem talk. Is there something you can do to change this situation? Can you think of a way to take your focus off this situation and put it into something that is beneficial to you? I’ve found over the years that when I focus on what I can do to change my reactions or focus, I can manage problems that have no solution much better.
As a simple example of this, when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I immediately thought that there was no solution and nothing that I could do. I wallowed in my depression for about two weeks, and then I got on the internet and found things that I could do. Since I’m not a person who likes to take pharmaceuticals I found natural ways of dealing with the pain and managing my problem. So, yes, I’m aware that not all problems can be “solved”, however, there is usually something that can do done to help deal with a problem (besides problem-talk). Let me know what it is that you do to either solve a problem, or to deal with it in a more positive manner.
Finding a problem is way too easy. Usually when we look at our lives all we see are the problems. However, we can be stymied when looking for a solution to the problem that we just found. As an example, my latest problem is that with a new health insurance company, my husband’s employer is now taking out an additional two hundred dollars from his monthly pay. So, now I’ve got a problem. I’m the one who pays the bills, and two hundred dollars missing from the monthly intake has really interfered with my ability to do the bill paying.
At first, I just went into denial mode. If I ignore the problem, it will go away. Has this worked for anyone? Ever? Didn’t think so. Then I made a short list of what I could do. First of all, I could look into health insurance policies. After all, maybe I can find one that is cheaper. So far, I’ve not had much success, but I did only spend about two hours on this task. The cheaper policies also carry huge deductions, many of them to be paid up-front. This will force me to keep on looking.
My second solution is that I need to take a look at our spending habits and see where I can cut those. One of the things that we consistently do is to get take-out on Friday nights. This can get rather more expensive than I would like, since my husband enjoys buying one or more appetizers. I have already cut down here by not getting anything for myself; instead I make a fabulous salad and have that. The only time when I get something is when we decide to get Chinese. The cost of the meal goes way down since I can usually get three meals out of my take-out. As a solution, there is no reason why we have to get take-out every Friday night. I believe that I’ll make pizza from scratch every other Friday. I’ve done this before, and the results have been pretty positive. See, there’s another solution.
Then, the third solution. Food is extremely expensive. I am going to be finding cheap, easy vegan meals to make a couple of times a week for all of us. That should help with the food bill, and I can buy bags of beans instead of cans. Cheaper and better for you. Good ideas. So, as soon as I left the land of denial, my problem turned into solutions. Give it a try and let me know your results. I’ll keep you posted on mine.