Telling Me What I Can Wear?

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The other day while walking through the Walmart parking lot, I noticed a woman who was wearing a t-shirt that said, “Leggings are not Pants!”.  Since I was taken aback by this slogan, and I was wearing the seemingly outlawed leggings, I simply pivoted as I passed her, so that she could see that I was indeed not only wearing leggings but using them just like pants!  (On a side note, maybe I should have been wearing them as a headscarf? – I’ve always assumed you wore them as pants.  Have I been mistaken all this time?)  – Oh, the horror of it all.  This of course reminded me of the school and airline bans all aimed at leggings and yoga pants.  We also have had legislators who have tried to make not only leggings and yoga pants illegal, but also female nipples – now don’t get too cold, women, you might get arrested!  I have a problem with other people telling me (or anyone) what we can and cannot wear.  The interesting thing about all these bans, is that, of course they have to do with what women and girls are wearing.  This is not about banning clothes that men wear.

From my own observations, it is quite obvious that the problem isn’t so much what women are wearing, as it is the male reaction to those articles of clothing.  Lest you think that it only has to do with what we’re wearing in our day-to-day lives; our clothing is used to shame us as well.  You get catcalled?  Well, look at what you’re wearing – you deserve it!  Raped?  Well look what you were wearing – you were asking for it.  On a personal note, after I was assaulted, beaten and left for dead, one of the responding police officers offered up the observation that my extremely large sweat pants and hoodie were somehow to blame for the assault.  There was no skin to see other than my face and hands, but that was the problem.  My face and hands were somehow “asking for it”.  This shaming and focusing on women and girls is the problem.  Boys and men need to step up and realize that they are sharing the world with females, who have a right to dress as they like.  Just get over it already – after all, we have to deal with your Speedos!

I’ve left some links below.  Look into the situation and let me know what you think.

http://www.thejournal.ie/ban-yoga-pants-leggings-united-states-1935822-Feb2015/

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2014/04/more_schools_moving_to_outlaw.html

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/united-banned-girls-leggings-flight-article-1.3010391

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Words to Live By

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As we start into one of the busiest weekends of the year, I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes with you.  I hope you like them, and have a wonderful weekend.

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Being-a-strong-person.

 

February Goals?

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I haven’t been very good about achieving my goals.  As a matter of fact, other than working-out, my goals haven’t been “working out” for me so far.  Of course, how do you achieve your goals if you don’t write them down?  We all know the answer to that question, you don’t achieve anything if you don’t work toward your goals.

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So, in the interest of getting something accomplished this month, I’m going to share my goals for the next few weeks in the hopes that motivates me.   First, I want to start with what I’ve done right so far, this year…yes, I started easy and every two weeks I’ve upped the difficulty – my working out.  I’ve gotten up to my Soloflex (I’ve still got mine from the 1980’s), and weights along with cardio.  However, I need to work on daily Yoga. And of course, I’ve been walking daily.

Here are my goals for February:  daily yoga; website; coaching certificate; fiction writing; organizing done in my house; financials organized; and weekly goal writing.

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How are you doing with your goals?  Let me know in the comments below.  Write your goals done, and work on them daily!

Confidence

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If there is something that I don’t have, it’s confidence.  Whether my lack of this attribute comes from never measuring up when I was a child, or from just simply never thinking I was all that, if there is one thing that I, and many other people lack, it’s confidence.

There are many times that a lack of confidence is simply ridiculous.  From feeling that I can’t figure out a new recipe to being unsure of how to get somewhere that I’ve been before, it doesn’t take much to shake my confidence in myself.  While I realize that one of the reasons for a lack of confidence is the simple fact that we tend to remember when someone else said something negative to us as opposed to remembering the positive things (yes, this is an actual thing, and it just goes to show you how ingrained negativity can be), it can still be a hard thing to overcome.

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Before you let yourself get stymied by your lack of confidence, try to think of a few things.  Have you done whatever it is before, and if so, how did it go?  Did you live through it?  Good, if you’re here then you obviously did.  What could go wrong, and if that does go wrong what can you do to fix it?  Lots of times if you look at the possible negatives, you realize that there are solutions, and/or that the negative is a silly possibility that probably won’t happen.  Before GPS, I used to get lost almost every time I went somewhere new.  Even though I was nervous to go anywhere outside of my comfort zone, I realized that I could always stop and ask someone for directions!  And the best thing was that no one made fun of me, and everyone was always helpful.  See, my problem had a solution that worked every time.  I still deal with nerves every time I drive somewhere new, but it’s under control (thanks to GPS), but mostly because I make myself remember all the times the outcome was positive.

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Once again, the solution to a negative is a positive.  Confidence is the same way.  Make yourself think of a situation where you were not confident but pushed through anyway, and you survived.  Confidence is a muscle that you have to use.  At the very least, learn the words to the song “I Have Confidence” from the musical “The Sound of Music”.  I use the refrain all the time myself.  Of course I don’t go around singing it out loud (not all the time, anyway), but repeating the words to yourself can do wonders.  So, go out and believe in yourself!

 

 

Negativity Kills Your Joy of Life

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Living with negative people is difficult.  Heck, even talking to negative people can cause you to feel like life isn’t worth living.  Especially with them.  For a while now, I’ve been trying to work on myself, change the things that I can and move forward with my own life.  However, when confronted consistently with someone whose goal is to make me feel less than, I find it difficult to remain positive.  I have no idea why this is happening, and I’ve decided that I am not going to spend any more time on wondering what I could have possibly done wrong to cause this abusive behavior.  Mostly because I am aware that it’s not just me that is suffering this abuse, and not one of the other people deserve it, either.  This is just who this person is.  Unfortunately, this is also a person who is a close family member that I apparently must live with.

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I wish I had wonderful advice to give anyone else who is in this situation, but I don’t.  I can tell you what it is that I’m doing to help cope.  First of all, I’ve been concentrating on improving myself.  I’ve been working on eating healthy, getting daily exercise, and working toward my goals.  I’ve also been working on decreasing my blood pressure by meditating as well as I can, (it’s a work in progress); practicing Yoga; and saying daily affirmations.  Self-worth is something that most of us have to work at, and right now my best way to help that is saying affirmations a couple of times a day.  In fact, I’ve found that the most positive thing I can do is to say them before I fall asleep.  That plants the positive in my mind so that it can work on my subconscious all night.  I’m working on saying them throughout the day, but I am not as consistent as I probably should be.   The other thing that I’ve been doing is to have as little reaction to the negative abuse as I can.  This is hard, but it helps.  If the negative person doesn’t get the reaction they desire, they will leave you alone.  If they don’t, my solution is to hide in the bathroom.

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If you are dealing with a highly negative person in your life, please let me know how you cope in the comments below.  This is a difficult way to live, and I would love to hear how you manage.

 

Do You Worry About What Other People Think?

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I hope that you don’t spend your life worrying about what “other” people think of you.  A friend of mine refuses to leave the house without her make-up on.  She thinks that “other” people will think less of her if they see her without her make-up on.  This extends to all people who might see her, not just people she knows, but anyone and everyone who might see her.  As a person who routinely leaves the house without make-up on, I find this to be a complete waste of time.

However, there have been times when after having a lengthy conversation with myself in a store, I will look around and be relieved that no one else was in the aisle with me.  I’ve been known to be overheard, and when I am, I simply smile at the other person and continue on my way.  The truth is that I probably will never see that person again, and who cares anyway.

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There is one place that people seem to feel immune to others looking at them, and that is while in the car.  When I worked in the city, sitting in traffic on the way home was the most interesting time ever (especially if you’re a people-watcher, like me).  I’ve seen people singing and “dancing” along to the music, (which is one of my favorite things to do in the car), talking to themselves, putting on makeup, and my favorite (and I’m sure yours, too), is the men (it’s usually men) who feel that picking their noses while in public is fine, since a car with many windows, apparently is not public.  So, when I occasionally get “caught” doing a few dance steps to really good music at Walmart or Stop and Shop, I truly don’t get upset.  After all, I haven’t been caught with my finger up my nose!

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So, don’t spend your time worrying about what others think of you.  Whatever it is that you’re doing, you can be sure someone, somewhere is doing something much more interesting!  Enjoy yourself, be yourself and don’t worry.  In the large scheme of things, it doesn’t matter!

 

 

To Accept Yourself

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Self-acceptance seems almost impossible.  However, that is the path to true happiness.  Trying to please others in order to find happiness is doomed to fail.  The only person you absolutely need to be accepted by is yourself.

Other people may only want you to be near them because of what they can “get” from you.  They might only accept you for a variety of things that you offer; your looks, your generous nature or even your love of them.  This is not true acceptance if it’s based upon conditions.

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Accepting yourself can lead to all kinds of fabulous benefits.  Once you become comfortable in your own skin, accepting all that you have to offer, and all your own foibles, your life can literally change.  Love yourself for who you are, faults and all.  It’s what makes you unique and wonderful.  Be yourself!

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