To Accept Yourself

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Self-acceptance seems almost impossible.  However, that is the path to true happiness.  Trying to please others in order to find happiness is doomed to fail.  The only person you absolutely need to be accepted by is yourself.

Other people may only want you to be near them because of what they can “get” from you.  They might only accept you for a variety of things that you offer; your looks, your generous nature or even your love of them.  This is not true acceptance if it’s based upon conditions.

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Accepting yourself can lead to all kinds of fabulous benefits.  Once you become comfortable in your own skin, accepting all that you have to offer, and all your own foibles, your life can literally change.  Love yourself for who you are, faults and all.  It’s what makes you unique and wonderful.  Be yourself!

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Confidence

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This quote is so true.  For many of us, we spend so much time trying to be something that we are not, that we lose track of who we are. I know that for most of my life I’ve been trying so hard to please other people that for a long time I lost my sense of self.  In fact, I often feel like I’m stumbling around in the dark trying to figure out who I am.  Confidence in myself is something that I’ve struggled with for a long time, as I’m sure many other people have.  By always pleasing others, I’ve come to a point in my life when I don’t really know who I am.  How do you find the confidence to be yourself when you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way?

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My solution to this dilemma has been to try to get back to those things that made me happy before I began trying to please others.  The longer I’ve been working on improving and changing myself, the more confident I’ve become.  Another side-effect of this is that I’ve become a lot more understanding of not only my own deficiencies, but other peoples.  I also spend less time complaining about things than I did before.  Confidence is a gift that we give to ourselves.

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Your Attitude Affects Your Life

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In a way, that statement, your attitude affects your life, can be a little intimating. No one wants a bad life.  We all want to be happy, joyful and successful (however it is that we each measure success). When we want to change our behavior, we need to first change our attitude.  I’m pretty sure that everyone has heard all about an “attitude of gratitude”, and “thinking good thoughts”.  Yes, those are clichés, however, as with many clichés there is some truth to them.  If someone were to get up in the morning and think to themselves, I’m going to have a horrible, terrible no good day today.  We would think that they were crazy.  Who in the world would do that to themselves?  See, you do believe in attitude affecting behavior and change.

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So, today why not try something new.  Get up and think I’m going to have a great day.  Nothing is going to put me in a bad mood.  Whatever happens, I’ll deal with it and move on.  I’m going to try this, since I need an attitude adjustment – just like many other people.  Let’s give it a go and see if it works!

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Believing You Are Important

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This is a tough subject for me. I was raised in such a way that I had little to no self-confidence or belief in myself. I was the one who at a young age not only shoveled my driveway and sidewalk by myself, but the elderly neighbor who lived across the street’s driveway and sidewalk. You would have thought she would have been happy that I shoveled for no compensation, however she would call and complain when I took “too long” to finish my own driveway and sidewalk. My Mother had a bad back, my sister had scoliosis and was in a back brace and my Dad was at work. My parents were perfectionists, so whatever I did it was just not good enough, whether it was school related or housework related. I grew up with the knowledge that whatever I did it was going to fall short. As an example, if I got a 100 on a test, my Father’s response was “Why didn’t you get 101?” This was not a jokey comment, but the only comment. When I graduated from college with two majors (B.A. and B.S.) in 4 years, they were upset that I hadn’t declared a minor.

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It really seems ridiculous that such a thing can follow you around for a lifetime, however I do know that I’m not alone. Many people have been influenced by such things, and these feelings unfortunately can last a lifetime. When I was working with the elderly I was shocked at how many people would bring up feelings like inadequacy, or low self-esteem – and these people were in their 80’s and 90’s. They had been battling these feelings all their lives. Most of them had lived full lives and accomplished much. But they still had low self-esteem. This was one of the saddest parts of my life. People had lived so long, done so much, yet truly felt that they weren’t worth anything.

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If you, too feel this way, please find some Affirmations. Say them to yourself over and over as many times a day as you can. Please, don’t hit your 80’s and 90’s feeling terribly about yourself. It only hurts you.