Be Yourself

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On our journey through life, we’ll sometimes find other people who seem to have it all.  To the outside world their lives look wonderful, and, we’ll think, well if we could just be them, life would be great.  But the fact of the matter is, we have no idea if their lives are as great as we think they are…nor do we know if they are actually happy.

Instead of looking to others as a way to figure out how to be or how to live, each one of us needs to be who we are, not to copy someone else. Each one of us is an individual, and as such we’re one of a kind.  There is no one else exactly like us in the world.  That’s the way we were made, and that’s what makes the world so diverse and interesting.

So, okay, what’s my point?  Don’t look to others to gain your confidence.  Every day try to be a better you than you were yesterday.  Take the time to figure out what you want, how you want to live, what you want to do.  This life that you are living is yours, no one else’s, so try your best to live it the way you want.  Dream about how you’d like your life to be, write those dreams down and set goals to achieve to bring those dreams to fruition.  You can start by believing in yourself.  Use a simple affirmation – “I believe in myself” to bring your confidence out of hiding.  Say your own affirmations several times daily.  Find yourself, be yourself.

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Be Your Own Savior

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Here’s a nasty little secret for you – no one is coming to save you.  Here’s another one – you’re never going to win the lottery.  Yep, if you want that prince on the white horse to come save you, you’re going to be waiting until you’re in the grave.  No one is coming.  You have to be your own savior.

You know what the worst part of this is?  You’re going to have to do the dirty work.  That lottery ticket isn’t going to be the “one”, by the way this is especially true if you don’t even buy a lottery ticket, but sometimes fantasize about what you would do if you won.  (This is me…I actually do this occasionally).  See, we all are looking for a savior.

The problem is that none of us wants to do the work it takes to change our lives.  Most of us want to magically wake up in the morning and all the hard work is done, and we’re suddenly living our dream life.  That would be great.  But it’s not going to happen.

So, what do we do?  One of the first things to do is to admit this to yourself.  Admit that you’re going to have to do the work.  Admit that you are worth it…this is the most important part.  You need to feel that you are worth all the hard work.  That the life you’ve dreamed of for so long is what you’re worthy of.  And then, you need to make a plan, set some goals, and start the work.  The only way to fulfill your dreams is to do the work.  Be your own savior.

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A Positive Outlook

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If you tend to dwell in negativity that is all that you will find.  Looking for the best in life will force you to find it.  We do tend to find what it is that we’re looking for, after all.  I know this can be difficult (I too have spent way too much time in negativity), but remember, if you change your focus, you can change your life.

When times are hard, look at what is going right and build positivity from there.  Life is never just one thing.  Positive and negative both surround us, but if you focus on the good things it will give you the strength to overcome the negative.

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Never Make Yourself Smaller

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Don’t allow other people to make you smaller or “less than” what you are.  It’s so easy to make yourself smaller in order for someone else, who you love, to feel better about themselves.  After all we tell ourselves, it’s because we love them that we become smaller.  Why shouldn’t we help someone we love feel better about themselves?

However, it’s not up to us to become smaller, “less than”, to make someone else feel larger.  Our beliefs in ourselves matter also.  If someone insists that you need to be smaller, it’s a large indicator that they really don’t have your best interests at heart.  It’s not up to us to be “less than” so someone else can feel “more than”.  A true friend will celebrate who and what you are, not make you feel smaller.  Someone who professes to love you will never ask you to make yourself smaller.  No matter how difficult, be true to who you are.

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Quotes to Boost Your Self-Esteem

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This is simply to go along with my Monday post regarding self-esteem and goals.  So, here are some quotes to help you.

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How Your Self-esteem Affects Your Goals

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There are many reasons why people don’t manage to attain their goals.  Some people simply lose interest, others change their goals, but some of us may have self-esteem issues that make it difficult for us to reach the goals we set for ourselves.  Of course, when this happens, what little self-esteem we do have takes a hit, and attaining any goals we set then becomes that much more difficult.

Sometimes when we have low self-esteem we can either set goals that are too high, (perfection anyone?) or too low.  Setting the bar too low doesn’t really help with improving self-esteem since we denigrate whatever it is that we attained.  On the other hand, perfection never helped anyone ever.  I can get caught up in the perfection issue way too easily.  As a matter of fact, I’ve managed to sabotage myself nearly every time I’ve decided to start working out by insisting on getting up every morning at a certain time – no exceptions.  As a matter of fact, I really think that the only reason I’m still working out this time is because I allow myself to “sleep in” (if 6:00 am can be considered sleeping in).  By allowing myself an extra hour or hour-and-a-half of sleep once or twice a week, I’ve taken the perfection out of the mix.  And, I’m still getting up and working out.  Take that perfection!

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So, when you start your goal setting process ask yourself if your goal is based on perfection.  If it is, change that goal.  If it’s a goal that’s way too low, ask yourself if you want to keep it, attain it and then make the goal a little harder, or do you want to just set a slightly harder goal.  Being able to attain part one of a goal and then commit to part two may give you the self-esteem boost that you want.  By attaining goals, we improve our self-esteem, and that is a good thing!  I’ve left an interesting link for you to read below.

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/self-esteem-and-standards/

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Is Self-Care Selfish?

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As you know, I’ve been rising early in order to work-out.  Sometimes that means that I’m up at 4:30 a.m. since I’ve been doing most of my walking in the morning, in my basement with Denise Austin.  Why you may ask?  Well, our heat index has been 105° on more than one occasion.  So, the other day, I was minding my own business when I was informed by a family member that the very fact that I work-out is extremely selfish of me.  I was taking time and doing something for myself that should be spent doing something (anything) for the family.

There was something so shocking about this statement that I was at a loss for words.  After reflection on this I wonder, what should I be doing at 4:30 am?  Vacuuming?  Washing the floors?  Dusting?  The fact of the matter is, if I wasn’t working out, I’d be sleeping.  But, how come all my time is supposed to be “for the family”?  Aren’t we all adults here?

The definition of selfish is to be concerned exclusively with oneself, to the detriment of others.  I seriously do not think that making extra time in my day to exercise has anything to do with the detriment of other family members.  I still do everything that I was doing before I started working out every day, so this statement is patently untrue.  However, the purpose of his saying this was deliberately to undermine what I was doing.  I have seen positive changes this year, and that is what is bothering some people in my immediate family, not just this one individual.  When you start to change your life, some people may see this as a negative directed at them.  For their own reasons, they were happy with the status quo and now you’ve gone and changed yourself in certain ways.  This can be a problem, but remember, if you are changing yourself for your own reasons, they don’t get to say what you should or shouldn’t do.  (As long as what you’re doing involves only you).  So, self-care is not selfish.

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