Honoring Promises

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I had a wonderful friend who was roughly 40 years older than I am.  Her name was Millie and she lived across the street from me.  A few years after I met her she became my unofficial mother due to family problems.

Millie was always there with solutions to issues, a shoulder to cry on, or most importantly, a good story and a laugh.  My children loved to go visit Millie to “help” her with her chores, read, or just be with her.  She was a special person, and the closest thing to a grandmother they had.  We often talked books, characters and plots.  She was an avid reader also, and we were always comparing books and authors.  Eventually Millie became very sick with ALS, and died.  Since she was a fan of Sue Grafton’s Alphabet Series, one of her regrets was that she wouldn’t live long enough to finish the series.  Since her children didn’t read, she wanted me to read the entire “Kinsey Series” as she called it as a remembrance to her.

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This task took me longer than I’d like to think about to complete.  I was always looking for ways to avoid it.  For one thing, I’d have to completely understand that she was gone, and not just away at the hospital, and this was something that took me a long time to get through.  For another thing, Sue Grafton hadn’t finished the series, and not only that, she was taking a long time to do so.  Finally, about two years or so ago, I decided I’d start the series and read it over a period of time, planning on finishing whenever the last novel was published.  This was not to be, since as all of us Sue Grafton fans know, the alphabet ends at “Y”.  (For those of you who don’t read Sue Grafton, she died in 2017 from cancer without finishing her series.)  So, for now, we’re all left wondering what did become of Kinsey Millhone?  I’ve put my imagination to work and come up with a few theories, but the truth is, we probably never will know.

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Honoring promises is important.  One reason for my not doing this sooner was fear that if I did finish, my memories of Millie would fade.  Yes, that is nonsensical, I know.  But, once I started the series, I was so glad.  The character of Kinsey Millhone has been an exciting one to get to know.  She’s added a lot to my life, and I often think about her.  Not only does Sue Grafton live on, but my wonderful friend and surrogate mother lives on as well.  Thank you, Millie, for this last gift.

 

 

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Eggshells and You

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I just wanted to post this quote I found for those of you who are dealing with hyper-critical family members.  One of the terrible things about being criticized for everything you do, is how it dismantles your sense of self.  Remember when someone is belittling you, it says more about them then it does you.  No matter how hard it may be, look within for your sense of self, stand tall, and even if you have to dance in the shadows, dance.

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Quotes to Boost Your Self-Esteem

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This is simply to go along with my Monday post regarding self-esteem and goals.  So, here are some quotes to help you.

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How Your Self-esteem Affects Your Goals

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There are many reasons why people don’t manage to attain their goals.  Some people simply lose interest, others change their goals, but some of us may have self-esteem issues that make it difficult for us to reach the goals we set for ourselves.  Of course, when this happens, what little self-esteem we do have takes a hit, and attaining any goals we set then becomes that much more difficult.

Sometimes when we have low self-esteem we can either set goals that are too high, (perfection anyone?) or too low.  Setting the bar too low doesn’t really help with improving self-esteem since we denigrate whatever it is that we attained.  On the other hand, perfection never helped anyone ever.  I can get caught up in the perfection issue way too easily.  As a matter of fact, I’ve managed to sabotage myself nearly every time I’ve decided to start working out by insisting on getting up every morning at a certain time – no exceptions.  As a matter of fact, I really think that the only reason I’m still working out this time is because I allow myself to “sleep in” (if 6:00 am can be considered sleeping in).  By allowing myself an extra hour or hour-and-a-half of sleep once or twice a week, I’ve taken the perfection out of the mix.  And, I’m still getting up and working out.  Take that perfection!

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So, when you start your goal setting process ask yourself if your goal is based on perfection.  If it is, change that goal.  If it’s a goal that’s way too low, ask yourself if you want to keep it, attain it and then make the goal a little harder, or do you want to just set a slightly harder goal.  Being able to attain part one of a goal and then commit to part two may give you the self-esteem boost that you want.  By attaining goals, we improve our self-esteem, and that is a good thing!  I’ve left an interesting link for you to read below.

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/self-esteem-and-standards/

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Why Are People from Honduras Seeking Asylum?

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As we all know, there are a lot of people from Central and South America seeking asylum at our southern border.  However, I haven’t really seen much information regarding the reasons why they’re seeking asylum.  We’ve all heard about the gangs, etc. but not the reasons why these countries are falling apart.  Since I’m an information seeker, I decided to look into one of these countries and let you know why there are so many problems there.  My first pick was Honduras since this was the country that caught my eye.

In my reading I found out that in the early 1900’s U.S. banana companies set up shop in Honduras, bribed government officials, gained control of over 1 million acres of land and sent the resulting money and crops to the U.S.  This buy-up of land converted Honduras into a one-crop economy, setting the entire nation up for massive poverty.  At the same time, U.S. military was used to prevent any uprising against the corporations by the citizens of Honduras, while the banana companies gained monetary control of the country.  By the time Regan was president, Honduras was often referred to as “U.S.S. Honduras”.    Honduras was also used as a place to train the Contras of Nicaragua, which in turn increased the U.S. military presence in Honduras.  This militarized Honduran society and brought about a crack down of any and all resistance to the government, thus squashing democracy.  The U.S. was also instrumental in disrupting the coffee trade under the policy of “globalization”, which led to the destabilization of this industry.

All this has led to an increase in military, a loss of human rights, and many human rights violations.  When the citizens elected Manuel Zelaya, a progressive president in 2006, his promise of reforms upset the ruling oligarchy, who then staged a military coup to overthrow the elected government.  Poverty is a huge problem, with drug lords and a corrupt government, police and military working together.  The U.S. is also at fault for militarily supporting this coup against the wishes of the 35-member Organization of American States.

So, this is a quick over-view of the problems in Honduras.  From what I have seen, the other countries from which asylum-seekers are coming have a history with the U.S. that is much the same.  Clearly, the fault is not with the people who have walked thousands of miles seeking asylum.  I’ve left some links below for your education.  Once again, nothing happens in a vacuum, and we need to look at the history of a problem before we start assigning blame.

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https://theconversation.com/how-us-policy-in-honduras-set-the-stage-for-todays-mass-migration-65935

https://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/27/opinion/in-honduras-a-mess-helped-by-the-us.html

 

Positivity and Photos

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I’ve been feeling in need of a little positivity lately and thought that I’d share a few quotes along with some photos of nature that I’ve taken over the past few weeks.  Enjoy!

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