The above quote is so important in many ways. From the time we are born we seek to please others. As children when our parents were happy than we were happy. Of course, pleasing others can be a wonderful thing. The feelings of joy we get from bringing happiness to others is like no other. But as with many things, this can be taken to the extreme thus causing us unhappiness while we seek to please another. Once we start putting others happiness above our own happiness on a consistent basis, we’ve crossed the line into ignoring ourselves and putting ourselves last, if our own happiness even makes it onto our list.
True lasting happiness come from within. No “other” can make us happy, just as we cannot bring true lasting happiness to another. Look within to find your own happiness.
Last weekend I watched the wonderful documentary on Fred Rogers, Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (which I suggest that you watch also, since Fred Rogers was an extraordinary man). While I was watching it, some of the words mentioned in regard to the mess that’s the U.S. right now were “Tikkun Olam” which I’d never heard of before. The words were referenced with regard to the question ‘what can we do to help ourselves and the world right now’? The response was “repair the world”. I’m leaving a link below that better explains the background and original meaning of these words, but also emphasizes that the meaning that is usually associated with these words has to do with repairing the world by means of social justice and human responsibility toward fixing what is wrong with the world.
While changing the entire world is a huge task, and one that most of us are unable to achieve, after watching Won’t You Be My Neighbor? I was struck by how much each one of us can change the world. How, you might ask? By changing the world we live in. Of course, we can sign petitions, march in protest, vote and give money to causes that resonate with us. We should do all that. But there are also direct actions that we can take. We can declutter and make our homes as peaceful as we can. We can also work at a soup kitchen. These actions aren’t either/or, remember. We can treat everyone we see with kindness. And, for those of us who have limited money, it can be the most direct way of repairing the world. I hope that I can manage to create a better world right where I am. Hope you are inspired to do the same.
On our journey through life, we’ll sometimes find other people who seem to have it all. To the outside world their lives look wonderful, and, we’ll think, well if we could just be them, life would be great. But the fact of the matter is, we have no idea if their lives are as great as we think they are…nor do we know if they are actually happy.
Instead of looking to others as a way to figure out how to be or how to live, each one of us needs to be who we are, not to copy someone else. Each one of us is an individual, and as such we’re one of a kind. There is no one else exactly like us in the world. That’s the way we were made, and that’s what makes the world so diverse and interesting.
So, okay, what’s my point? Don’t look to others to gain your confidence. Every day try to be a better you than you were yesterday. Take the time to figure out what you want, how you want to live, what you want to do. This life that you are living is yours, no one else’s, so try your best to live it the way you want. Dream about how you’d like your life to be, write those dreams down and set goals to achieve to bring those dreams to fruition. You can start by believing in yourself. Use a simple affirmation – “I believe in myself” to bring your confidence out of hiding. Say your own affirmations several times daily. Find yourself, be yourself.
As you know, there are times when life sucks. And, believe it or not, that’s actually okay. Life can’t be sunshine, roses and chocolate all the time. Because, if it was, would that sunshine feel as wonderful? Would the roses smell as sweet? Well, I can tell you from experience, chocolate tastes fantastic no matter what is happening, but I’m sure you catch my drift.
When life is hard, take a breath – or twenty – or a hundred, and stand up and just deal with it. Don’t put yourself down, don’t dwell on faulting someone (or yourself), just figure out a way to deal with it. Focus your energy on doing whatever you can control to make life better, and do it!
Once again, it’s a new month, and of course that means a new list of goals. I sincerely hope that your September was much more productive than mine was. However, this is a new month and so a new outlook and new goals. That being said, here’s my list of goals for the month.
Spend one hour per day writing creatively. It doesn’t matter what, just that it’s creative.
Get house fall cleaned and throw/give away “stuff”. Right now, I’ve got two seasons of clothes out in my bedroom. One day it’ll be in the lower 60°’s, and the next almost 80°. My bedroom is a mess! Hopefully I won’t be needing summer clothes in the near future and can put them away.
Read at least two books for business/self-growth.
Work on school and website.
Be consistent with menu planning.
Keep working out daily. This is the only goal that I’ve achieved consistently all year. Very proud of myself and I intend to keep it up.
Okay, so there’s my list of goals. How are you doing with your goals? Hope you’ve made your list and plan to work on achieving them. Remain positive, and remember, every day is a new beginning!
Here’s a nasty little secret for you – no one is coming to save you. Here’s another one – you’re never going to win the lottery. Yep, if you want that prince on the white horse to come save you, you’re going to be waiting until you’re in the grave. No one is coming. You have to be your own savior.
You know what the worst part of this is? You’re going to have to do the dirty work. That lottery ticket isn’t going to be the “one”, by the way this is especially true if you don’t even buy a lottery ticket, but sometimes fantasize about what you would do if you won. (This is me…I actually do this occasionally). See, we all are looking for a savior.
The problem is that none of us wants to do the work it takes to change our lives. Most of us want to magically wake up in the morning and all the hard work is done, and we’re suddenly living our dream life. That would be great. But it’s not going to happen.
So, what do we do? One of the first things to do is to admit this to yourself. Admit that you’re going to have to do the work. Admit that you are worth it…this is the most important part. You need to feel that you are worth all the hard work. That the life you’ve dreamed of for so long is what you’re worthy of. And then, you need to make a plan, set some goals, and start the work. The only way to fulfill your dreams is to do the work. Be your own savior.