Motivations for the Unmotivated

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Motivation – I’m just not feeling it, you know?  However, I want to get my goals met, so how do I do that while feeling like this?  I’ve written down my goals, and figured out my steps.  Now, I’ve just got to move!

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Self-sabotage is definitely related to your sense of self-worth.  Do you want to improve your life?  Yes, of course you do.  Do you think that you are worth the work and effort that you need to put into this positive change?  Probably not.  Are you going to let that stop you?  Well, that’s up to you, isn’t it?

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Just as this quote says, either way that you think, you’re right.  So, in my case, I just want to think that I can complete the goals I’ve set out to accomplish.  So, with that thought, and not thoughts of sabotage, I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other, and I hope that you do the same!

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Binaural Beats

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Binaural beats are something that I just discovered, and so I thought that I’d write about it here to help spread the word.  Binaural means to hear with both ears, and in this case, means to hear two different sounds, one in each ear.  The history of this dates back to Carl Stumpf a German philosopher who referred to listening to two separate stimuli for each ear in order to create different effects on the brain.

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Today you can go to YouTube and find all different kinds of tones to help with a variety of issues.  You can listen to these for relaxation, creativity, anxiety, focus, etc.  You can listen to just the tones, or the tones with music.  I’ve found that listening to the tones on a very low volume works best for me.  I also like listening to the tones along with music.  There are quite a few videos on YouTube that let you listen that way.

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As a person who is always looking for ways to improve my focus, creativity and reduce my stress levels I found this to be a pretty interesting study of scientific research.  Do you use Binaural beats?  How do you like it?  Has it helped you in life?  Let me know in the comments below.

http://www.web-us.com/thescience.htm

Shopping

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This week was a little different.  I went to the mall with my daughter, and this time, I came home with two shopping bags.  Yes, me, yes, two bags!  A number of years ago, my son gave me a gift card from Victoria’s Secret as a Christmas gift, and I put it away in a safe place (because that’s what you do with gift cards).  Even though I understand that it’s to a woman’s benefit to have her bra size checked every few years, I haven’t had mine checked since I first started wearing bras – more years ago than I want to remember.  I buy my bras from Walmart, and even though I’ve breast-fed two babies, gained more weight than I want to even think about, and have been feeling (seeing) the effects of gravity, I’ve still been simply guessing at bra size, throwing my shirt on, and trying to forget about it.  If you can’t see it, it’s not there, right?

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So, I screwed my courage to the wall, took a deep breath, and got sized.  You know what?  The woman who helped me was so nice, caring and understanding that I almost cried.  Yep, having someone else take care of me does that to me.  Thanks to my son’s gift card I’m now the proud owner of two bras that make me look pretty good – gravity be damned!  But, for those of you out there who love to get freebies, I also got a pretty beach cover-up and a beach tote for FREE!  So, after years of hemming and hawing, I just so happened to pick a freebie day!  Wow!

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My second bag was for a ten-dollar black sleeveless duster, much like one the wonderful, worldly wise Miss Fisher would wear.  I’ve been looking for one of these for quite some time, and found it in a store that sells everything for the princely sum of $10.00.  So, it was bargains all around.  What a great shopping experience!

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For someone who absolutely hates shopping, this was one day for the record books.  Best of all, I now know my bra size and what a well-made bra looks like, so I can purchase some better bras now.  And, I get to swan around (somewhat) like the fantastic Miss Fisher! What a great day!

The Effects of Constant Criticism

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I live with two people who are free with their criticism.  Some of this criticism includes such things as the way the spices are organized to the way I do my laundry.  If this was constructive criticism I wouldn’t be so upset.  However, it is not.  This is done specifically to make me feel “less than”. It takes a toll on a person, and I decided to do a little research into exactly what kind of effects this has on the person being criticized. One notable effect is that being constantly criticized can really affect your self-esteem and sense of self-worth.  This is true, since after I’ve been criticized I really feel sick, whether it’s a headache, upset stomach, or both.  Then I find that in the days following such an attack I just want to curl up in my bed, hide under the covers and do nothing.  It takes every ounce of energy I’ve got to continue on my path to change.

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When I looked up information on this subject, there was a lot of information regarding parents being overly critical of their children.   My parents were overly critical.  If I got a score of 100% correct, I was asked why I didn’t get 101%. When I graduated college with a double Major in four years, my Mother was upset that I didn’t also have a Minor.  My achievements were not recognized, only my “faults”.

So, I’m now struggling with this issue in my life, and either the attacks are getting worse, or I’m not dealing with the after-effects as well as in the past.  Being told to grow a thicker skin is not helpful, and not something I’d recommend to other people.  However, I try to look at the problems of the person who is attacking me.  As far as I’m concerned, the only reason they are attacking me has to do with them, not me.  If the criticism is valid, I look for the truths in it.  However, when the criticism is generally about how I do something, or say something, or in some cases just the very act of my being is the object of the criticism, then I try to remember that it’s not valid.   So, look into the critical statements, see if it’s valid and if it isn’t , consider the source.

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-labermeier/negative-impact-of-criticism-_b_3829346.html

 

Problem Talk (Complaining)

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Problem talk is something that we all do.  Some of us do it more than others.  Sometimes we can get so caught up in the problem talk and completely forget that there is usually a solution.  We are the ones who usually have the solution inside ourselves, if only we spent some time thinking about solutions, and not wasting our time by complaining.  Sound familiar?  I’m guilty of it and almost everyone I know is guilty of it, also.

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While complaining about a problem has its place; there is a lot to be said for venting, after all, frustration is a valid emotion, problem talk is not a solution.  It’s just not going to get the problem solved.  And, at the end of the day isn’t that what we really want?  To get the problem solved.

Here are some questions to ask yourself the next time you find yourself caught up in the never-ending problem talk.  Is there something you can do to change this situation?  Can you think of a way to take your focus off this situation and put it into something that is beneficial to you?  I’ve found over the years that when I focus on what I can do to change my reactions or focus, I can manage problems that have no solution much better.

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As a simple example of this, when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I immediately thought that there was no solution and nothing that I could do.  I wallowed in my depression for about two weeks, and then I got on the internet and found things that I could do.  Since I’m not a person who likes to take pharmaceuticals I found natural ways of dealing with the pain and managing my problem.  So, yes, I’m aware that not all problems can be “solved”, however, there is usually something that can do done to help deal with a problem (besides problem-talk).  Let me know what it is that you do to either solve a problem, or to deal with it in a more positive manner.

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Your Attitude Affects Your Life

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In a way, that statement, your attitude affects your life, can be a little intimating. No one wants a bad life.  We all want to be happy, joyful and successful (however it is that we each measure success). When we want to change our behavior, we need to first change our attitude.  I’m pretty sure that everyone has heard all about an “attitude of gratitude”, and “thinking good thoughts”.  Yes, those are clichés, however, as with many clichés there is some truth to them.  If someone were to get up in the morning and think to themselves, I’m going to have a horrible, terrible no good day today.  We would think that they were crazy.  Who in the world would do that to themselves?  See, you do believe in attitude affecting behavior and change.

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So, today why not try something new.  Get up and think I’m going to have a great day.  Nothing is going to put me in a bad mood.  Whatever happens, I’ll deal with it and move on.  I’m going to try this, since I need an attitude adjustment – just like many other people.  Let’s give it a go and see if it works!

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