Sexual Harassment

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I grew up in an environment where if a boy in fourth or fifth grade pushed, hit, or shoved a girl, that girl was told “oh, he likes you”, and he was not punished, or even reprimanded.  Of course, being me, my reaction to being pushed, hit and/or shoved was to usually do the same back.  Now, just guess as to who it was who got reprimanded.  Yes, it was me, since a girl was always expected to be nice, no matter what.  That’s what we were told, no matter what someone did to you, be nice.

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All this conditioning has a price.  That price follows us all our lives, and causes women to “put up” with verbal and sexual harassment without saying anything.  It also causes us to not speak up about other kinds of mistreatment – after all, who want to be known as a “bitch”.  Yes, this is another instance where we’ve allowed others to monitor our voices and behavior.

When I was young, it wasn’t unusual for me to be “felt up” while I was riding the bus, in an elevator, or in other situations.  Did I say anything?  Usually not, however, the spikes of my pumps got quite the workout.  I hope that I did plenty of damage to the offending man’s toes and/or insteps.  The fact of this harassing behavior, is of course, designed to make woman and girls to feel “less than”.  The list of behavior goes on and on: “ratings” based on our looks; verbal abuse telling us to “smile”, trying to force women and girls to interact with strange men – and threatening comments when these men are ignored; women and girls being reduced to just their body parts – the dehumanization of an entire gender.

The examples of rotten comments are too long to list.  However, my husband has told me in just the last few days that I chop wood “like a girl”; and I throw the Frisbee to the dog, “like a girl”.  In my head I thought – if you’re so much better at chopping wood, why the heck aren’t you doing it?

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These comments are considered “normal”, and often if a woman says anything she is considered to be a “bitch”, or a liar, or both.  When we stand up for our rights as human beings, we are told to shut up and be nice.  Being nice has gotten us things.  The biggest “thing” that being nice has gotten us is less wages than men.  Yay!  What a testament to being nice.  Look at the offensive comments that were made by men, about Hilary Clinton when she ran for president.  The sad thing is that some of those same negative comments were also said by women.

Fifty-three percent of white women voted a known sexual predator into national office.  Really?  What the heck is wrong with you?  I will never understand people who vote against themselves.  And, this political party has proved itself to be the party of sexual predators.  Get your head on straight, women.  Together we will be an unstoppable force.  Stand together as one, and see the entire world change for the better.

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The Perfect Life?

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Are you waiting for your life to be perfect?  How about those 15 or so pounds you want to lose?  Are you waiting to lose them before you do something that you really want to do?  Or maybe you’re waiting until you save up the money to “fix up your house” before you have company over?

Thinking like this will do a couple of things.  First of all, it will prevent you from enjoying yourself and trying new things.  No one else will notice those extra pounds, and besides, if someone does, you probably don’t want to have anything to do with that person anyway.  Secondly, most people won’t judge you on your house.  If you’ve ever noticed, other people are in the process of saving up for some new things, also.

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Joy should be found in the experience of living life.  It doesn’t come from everything being perfect.  Some of the best meals can be served along with walls that need to be painted and floors that need refurnishing.  Those “things” don’t really matter.  How you treat others is what matters.  While I understand that what we see on social media gives most of us the impression that everyone else lives a “perfect” life, remember that most of those pictures are posed in a certain way so that we only see the “best”, and not the rest.  People accentuate the positive and hide the negative.

I’ve talked before about how I find joy in the little things.  The sunrises, sunsets, flowers, cold crisp air of fall.  Nature brings me joy nearly every day.  A positive outlook helps me find my joy.  Look for the good in life and it suddenly appears.  Even the worst day has something good in it, even if it’s a good cup of coffee.  Look for the joy, and it will be there.  I promise!

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December Goals

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Since I really didn’t do so well on my November goals, I’m kind of stymied about setting goals for December.  Maybe they should be just get through the month?  December can be such a fraught time of year it would be easy to simply say that making it through the month would be a worthy goal.  However, I do want to accomplish more than just that.

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So, one goal is that I did join a writing group, so I’ll be needing to make sure that I write for my assignment, so that is a goal.  Another goal is that I want to work on beginning to get my business set up, so I’ll be continuing with that, also.

As far as the big holiday, I really want to get my gifts bought and wrapped by December 15th this year.   And, my final goal for December is that I want to get my act together so that I can go into 2018 with a fresh new outlook along was some healthy new habits.  I’ll let you know more about the specifics as December moves forward.

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What are your goals for December?  Share them in the comments, and we  can encourage each other as the month rolls on.

 

Motivation and Positivity – Because Sometimes We Just Need Quotes

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There are some days that just scream out for motivational quotes.  I don’t know about you, but usually those days land on Mondays.  So, here are some quotes for the start of the week.  Enjoy, and I hope they help!

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Quotes on Changing for the Better

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Changing things about your life can be hard.  For every step forward, there are times that you feel you’ve gone back two steps.  It’s hard to keep up the momentum, but the only way to succeed is to keep going.  Here are a few quotes to keep you on your path.

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