The Importance of Affirmations

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Because I have a negative person in my life that I can’t run away from, I’ve started saying affirmations in earnest.  This person has really eroded my sense of self-worth to a dangerous level.  At this time, the only way that I can “fight back” is to say affirmations several times a day.  By working on myself, I hope to dilute the effect that his words have on me.

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So, since I like to research things I thought that I’d find out if affirmations really do work, and if so how they work.  Anything to boost my belief system, right?  It turns out that affirmations help how we feel about ourselves on a subconscious level.  That subconscious level is where our belief systems “live”, if you will.    If we can change those beliefs, we can affect our thoughts about ourselves, and in turn affect our lives.

Another important thing about affirmations is that they must be said in the “I”, and in the present.  One of my affirmations is “I am a worthy person.”  As you can see, it’s said both in the “I”, and also in the present.  Another important thing is that the affirmation must be positive.  No negative thinking, as that it what you are trying to change.  There is another way to making the affirmation work.  If you use an emotional word as part of your affirmation, this will help make the change that you want to make.  My parents often told me that I was “worthless”, so affirming that I have worth is an emotional statement for me.

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One of the most important things about saying affirmations is that you should say them at various times throughout the day.  I say mine five times, five times a day.  I also say them a few times while I’m lying in bed trying to go to sleep at night.  I have kept my list of affirmations to just five.  By keeping the number of affirmations short, I don’t feel like I’m spending too much time saying them.  For me this number seems to be just about right.

Do you use affirmations?  Have you found that they’ve helped you?  Let me know in the comments below.

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Finding Out What You Want

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I am trying to find out what I want.  That sounds like a silly thing to say, but all my life I’ve been working toward making other people happy.  When I was in high school, I wanted to be an Egyptologist.  It seemed like an extremely interesting and exciting thing to me, I was an avid reader of all things Egypt – from fiction to archeologist’s findings to the history of the various dynasties.  I had been immersing myself in the history of Egypt for years.  However, I was told that I could only go to a state school; my school counselor had been called by my mother and told not to tell me about any scholarships I could get; so I didn’t even know that I could have gotten any.  My choices had been taken away from me, and I was too naïve to know that I could have gotten information anywhere else.  This was a long time before the internet.  Unfortunately, I went along, taking a B.S. degree in something that I had no interest in; but to make myself happy I also got a B.A. degree in English (in the usual four years).  I never did work in my “chosen” field, instead getting my Paralegal Certificate.

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Once I was married, I tried to make my husband happy, then my two children.  I’m still trying to make everyone around me happy, since they all still live here.  In fact, a good part of my day goes into doing all the “little” things that make other people happy.  Running errands, waiting at the DMV, going to stores to “pick something up” for someone else.  I’m tired of it.  Seriously tired.  I’m tired of wearing clothes that are years and years old, not buying anything new (or nice); not cutting my hair; not going to the doctor – since I’m not bringing in much money, I feel like I don’t deserve any of these things.

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Self-esteem; self-confidence; self-love.  These are all things that I’m sure lots of people struggle with.  I’m working on it, but it feels like slogging up a hill in knee-high mud.  Does anyone else feel this way?  Let me know if you do, and what you do to push forward.  Thanks.