Do You Worry About What Other People Think?

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I hope that you don’t spend your life worrying about what “other” people think of you.  A friend of mine refuses to leave the house without her make-up on.  She thinks that “other” people will think less of her if they see her without her make-up on.  This extends to all people who might see her, not just people she knows, but anyone and everyone who might see her.  As a person who routinely leaves the house without make-up on, I find this to be a complete waste of time.

However, there have been times when after having a lengthy conversation with myself in a store, I will look around and be relieved that no one else was in the aisle with me.  I’ve been known to be overheard, and when I am, I simply smile at the other person and continue on my way.  The truth is that I probably will never see that person again, and who cares anyway.

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There is one place that people seem to feel immune to others looking at them, and that is while in the car.  When I worked in the city, sitting in traffic on the way home was the most interesting time ever (especially if you’re a people-watcher, like me).  I’ve seen people singing and “dancing” along to the music, (which is one of my favorite things to do in the car), talking to themselves, putting on makeup, and my favorite (and I’m sure yours, too), is the men (it’s usually men) who feel that picking their noses while in public is fine, since a car with many windows, apparently is not public.  So, when I occasionally get “caught” doing a few dance steps to really good music at Walmart or Stop and Shop, I truly don’t get upset.  After all, I haven’t been caught with my finger up my nose!

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So, don’t spend your time worrying about what others think of you.  Whatever it is that you’re doing, you can be sure someone, somewhere is doing something much more interesting!  Enjoy yourself, be yourself and don’t worry.  In the large scheme of things, it doesn’t matter!

 

 

Hate has no Place

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The recent events in this country have shown how divided we are as a community.  There is no place for hatred here.  On one side there is hatred, and on the other there is love for all.  There is no choice since love is the only choice.

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Let’s stop this by showing our love, building up our inclusive society and pushing back against hate.  We are one.

Creating Happiness

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Believe it or not, material possessions and other people do not make us happy.  Sure, buying something new can give you a little “lift” in spirits, if that’s the way you think you should be happy.  However, that lift never lasts, and then you’ve got to go out and get something new again.  It’s a never-ending proposition and one that certainly will not bring you lasting happiness.  The same holds true with collecting new people.  When you look outside yourself for happiness, you will always be disappointed.  Whatever lift you feel initially, will not last, and will often leave you feeling even more empty inside.

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However, when we realize that the only happiness that lasts is the one we make ourselves, that is when we will truly be happy.  Happiness really is an inside event.  Only we can create our own happiness.  How can this be done?  First of all, you have to really know yourself.  You need to spend some quiet time with yourself, and find out what might make you happy.  Many times, unhappiness stems from not pursuing those things that really give meaning to our lives.  If you want to change your life, what’s stopping you?  Can you start small, and build from there?  We have an unlimited capacity to improve our own lives, even in just the tiniest ways, and happiness will stem from there, if only we try.

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By working on ourselves we can create our own happiness, and from there, we can change the world.  How can our own happiness change the world?  By bringing happiness into the world, we bring kindness to others, creating a new compassion for others.  Your changes help transform the world you live in.  It’s a pond with ripples radiating out into the rest of the pond where it eventually hits the shore and continues on from there.

 

To Accept Yourself

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Self-acceptance seems almost impossible.  However, that is the path to true happiness.  Trying to please others in order to find happiness is doomed to fail.  The only person you absolutely need to be accepted by is yourself.

Other people may only want you to be near them because of what they can “get” from you.  They might only accept you for a variety of things that you offer; your looks, your generous nature or even your love of them.  This is not true acceptance if it’s based upon conditions.

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Accepting yourself can lead to all kinds of fabulous benefits.  Once you become comfortable in your own skin, accepting all that you have to offer, and all your own foibles, your life can literally change.  Love yourself for who you are, faults and all.  It’s what makes you unique and wonderful.  Be yourself!

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Compassion is a Verb

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Compassion is important to me.  It should be important to all of us.  Compassion is what religion is supposed to be about.  “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”  Is one of the most quoted statements from the Bible.  Somehow, we have lost whatever compassion we had as a country.  The reason I’m saying this is specifically related to the new TrumpCare Bill that is in Congress.  This bill will take insurance away from the very people who need it.  Anyone who is older, or has pre-existing conditions will lose their health care.  Well, if they don’t want to eat, or have a place to live, they might be able to pay their premiums.  Otherwise, those premiums will be too big to pay.

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Where is the compassion?  I look around me and I don’t see any.  Disabled people are blithely told to “just get a job”.  When was the last time you saw a blind or deaf person in your office?  How about the elderly?  Have you seen many 95-year-old delivery people, or an 85-year-old working at Walmart?  No, neither have I.  Even though this bill has “died”, they are still looking to simply get rid of the ACA, leaving millions of people without healthcare.

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It’s called compassion.  Find some, use some.  Be the person you were meant to be.  Compassion.  One day you will need it.  When you do, will it  be there?

Create Your Life

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Sometimes we are so busy reacting to the things that life throws at us, that we look around and realize that we haven’t so much as “made” our own lives, instead we’ve had them thrown at us.  Instead of setting goals, and taking the appropriate steps to reach those goals, we’ve simply been reacting to whatever has come our way.  While this is a fairly normal thing, it’s not the best thing.  Simply reacting doesn’t promote a happy, healthy lifestyle.

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So, here is the thing.  Take some time out of your busy life, and ask yourself if you are happy.  Do you feel fulfilled in your job and in your life?  Is there something else that you’d rather have?  If you find that at your core you are not happy, then carve out some time for you to be quiet with your own thoughts.  What can you do right away to change something that you don’t like?  If you’re in a situation not of your making, but you need to stay there for some reason or another – money, marriage, bad job market; how can you change what you are doing to make it more pleasant for you.  If you hate your job but can’t leave due to financial issues, is there something you can do to make it more interesting/pleasant.  Maybe you are not actually bored with your job, maybe it’s something about your life.  Whatever it is, can you change yourself to improve the situation?  Sometimes frustration with ourselves is at the core of our larger unhappiness.

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Whatever it is that you’ve found out, now is the time to decide to take action to change your life.  Make a goal and plan action steps to get there.  Once you begin working toward a goal, you’ll be amazed at how much happier you are.

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Confidence

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This quote is so true.  For many of us, we spend so much time trying to be something that we are not, that we lose track of who we are. I know that for most of my life I’ve been trying so hard to please other people that for a long time I lost my sense of self.  In fact, I often feel like I’m stumbling around in the dark trying to figure out who I am.  Confidence in myself is something that I’ve struggled with for a long time, as I’m sure many other people have.  By always pleasing others, I’ve come to a point in my life when I don’t really know who I am.  How do you find the confidence to be yourself when you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way?

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My solution to this dilemma has been to try to get back to those things that made me happy before I began trying to please others.  The longer I’ve been working on improving and changing myself, the more confident I’ve become.  Another side-effect of this is that I’ve become a lot more understanding of not only my own deficiencies, but other peoples.  I also spend less time complaining about things than I did before.  Confidence is a gift that we give to ourselves.

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