Thoughts and Prayers?


We’ve been hearing a lot (too much) about thoughts and prayers.  It’s a nice sentiment, but what do these thoughts and prayers actually do?  Do they help the grieving and the injured?  Do people stop grieving and get “better” once they know their government officials are sending them thoughts and prayers?  Do these kind sentiments help?

As anyone who has suffered grief and injury knows, thoughts and prayers do nothing to help.  Making sure others won’t suffer the same injury and grief would help, but since sending sentiments doesn’t change anything, there is no way they “help”.

Blaming video games, music and lyrics, even movies is ridiculous.  Other countries spend more money on more violent video games and they don’t have the same problems we do here in the U.S.  As a country we export all our music (along with the lyrics) all over the world, and the rest of the world doesn’t have the same mass murder problems.  And, last, but not least, our movies also are sent out to be viewed all over the world and again, the rates of mass murder is much higher in the U.S.


However, there is one BIG difference between the U.S. and the rest of the world.  Guess what that is?  Gun ownership – and the kind of gun ownership.  There is a difference between what kinds of guns may be owned, and how people can obtain them.  The conditions are much more stringent in the rest of the world than in the U.S.  Also, there is a limit on what kinds of guns may be obtained, along with the amount of ammo that can be bought.

But hey, let’s not discuss that, we’ll just send out our “thoughts and prayers”.  And then go and collect our bribes from the NRA.




Gritting Your Teeth & Getting on With It


I’ve been dealing with a lot of pain and over-all depression lately.  Every workout seems like the worst one so far.  I’ve been dragging myself out of bed in the morning and getting through my workouts by the skin of my teeth.  It hasn’t been fun…in fact it’s been terrible!  But I’ve worked out every morning in 2018, and I don’t want to stop.  So, what to do?

I don’t know.  I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, but I do get up and carry on.  It may not be “pretty”, but I’m getting it done.  The main thing that’s changed is that a family member said some very hurtful, nasty things to me just a few weeks ago, and those comments seem to have seeped into my marrow and stuck with me.  Emotional and verbal abuse will do that.  Initially I seemed okay, but as time has gone on the comments are running in a loop inside my head.  Of course, the best way to combat this is to consider the source.  This individual is not considered a person to take anything he says to heart.  His main purpose in life is to make others feel badly about themselves.  I am not the only person he does this to, and this is just what he does.  I can’t change him, but I can counteract these comments with what I know is true.


So I’m saying my affirmations twice daily (as opposed to only once a day), and focusing on my own stuff right now. I’m trying to replace the negative inside my mind with the positive.  And, I am stubbornly gritting my teeth and getting it done.  It’s a daily struggle but I’m doing it.  The worst thing would be to give up and let the depression take over.  So, if you’re in the same place, keep going.  Do your own thing, and try try try to remain positive.  Focus on you and what positive actions you can take.


Taking Care of Yourself


The hardest thing to do is to invest in taking care of yourself.  And, by investing I don’t mean just money, but time and effort.  As a mother, ever since I gave birth, the majority of my life has been spent in taking care of my children.  I remember having to have the babies in the bathroom with me when taking a shower, since my children seemed to need only small catnaps both day and night.  Therefore, I was usually passed out on what available surface there was during these teeny tiny little “naps” (notice the quotes).  So, as they grew, and got to be teenagers who loved to sleep, I began to sleep a little later.  But, I’ve since found out that anything over 5 or 6 hours makes me feel like throwing up, so I’ve gotten used to just getting up when I first wake up (instead of trying to go back to sleep) in order to work out.

That’s the first thing I do on a daily basis for myself.  Other than that, it’s mostly an effort.  I’ve just recently started getting my hair cut at a salon after going for 5 or 6 years without a haircut.  Who needs a haircut when you always wear your hair in a bun?  Every time my appointment comes around, I have to force myself to go.  The excuses are varied – it’s raining, there is snow, I don’t really have the money…  Seriously, it’s not expensive to get your hair cut every two months.  I’ve recently bought myself some face masks but using them again is an issue.  I seem to be looking for the “right” time to do so.


Eating properly is another issue.  I buy lots of fruit every week but seem to think that if I eat an orange, there won’t be enough for someone (the mythical someone) else to enjoy.  Of course, there is plenty of fruit at the end of the week, but I still think that I can’t eat much of it.

Taking care of yourself is an important part of your health and your well-being.  What do you do on a daily/weekly basis to take care of yourself?  Do you find it difficult to make time for you?  Let me know in the comments below.



Religious Freedom Division in the Federal Health & Human Services Department


What in the heck is “religious freedom”, and what does it mean to your health?  Here is a definition of “religious freedom” from the people who want the legal right to “practice” it.

“… is the right to use religious beliefs as a license to discriminate, and to provide special protections for Christians that fly in the face of the First Amendment.”

So, now that we have the definition down, what is going to happen to you, if you need to go to a health provider?  Well, the following may happen to you if you are the following:  the child of a gay couple who needs health care; a LGBTQ+ person in need of health care; another religion, including but not limited to: Muslim, Hindu, or something other than Christian.  How will you be denied care?  Well, if your health care provider does not “believe” in contraception, he/she need not offer it to you as part of your health insurance, because their beliefs are more important than your care.  The same holds true if you need the “morning after pill” regardless if that is because of rape, incest, or another reason – no need for you to take it, since an unwanted pregnancy is a “silver lining”, or even an “unexpected gift from God”.   Because this is the “belief” of the health provider, you don’t get a choice.  Another problem with this new law is that if a woman needs an abortion, and there are a variety of medical reasons for this, including a dead fetus, the hospital or doctor can deny them the choice, leaving them with a) having to endure an induced labor and a still birth; b) carrying a dead fetus and hopefully not dying herself due to a septic womb.

Another item to take note of here, this “religious freedom” is used to control women and their health decisions along with anyone who is not a cis man.  I don’t see anyone worrying about prescriptions for Viagra, or even prostate examinations.

However, the most interesting question is this – whose religion is it that we must worry about with this freedom of religion?  Is it only the Christian religion, or does this also include:  Hindu, Muslim, the Church of Satan?  Is there a line, and if so where is it?  This opens a huge legal can of worms, and it will be interesting to see where it leads.  I’ve left some links for you if you want to know more about this subject.


Your Ship


I love this quote because it reminds me (and I do need reminding) that what is going on outside of me does not have to be reflected inside of me.  There is chaos in the world, and there is a lot of anger and hurt and division right now.  However, I can do what I can in order to change that by writing about it and by sending letters and signing petitions.  But, if I want to live a life that is not full of stress and worry, I really need to put up boundaries and leave it all outside my mind.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that, and I longer I try to put the focus on what I can do, and what I can’t do the more peaceful I feel.  No amount of brooding I do is going to change others.  Focus on what you can do, change what you can, and make yourself the best you can be.  Yes, be active with what you can do for the outside world, but don’t make yourself crazy by letting that be your only focus.  You can’t change the world, but you can influence and change your life.  Work on that, and hopefully your change will ripple outward and touch the rest of your world.

If You Can Be Anything….


No matter how crazy your life is, no matter how hurried, do one thing.  It’s simple, it doesn’t cost any money.  Be kind.  Smile, have a positive message for those you meet while you’re out and about in the world.  Just, be kind.