If you tend to dwell in negativity that is all that you will find. Looking for the best in life will force you to find it. We do tend to find what it is that we’re looking for, after all. I know this can be difficult (I too have spent way too much time in negativity), but remember, if you change your focus, you can change your life.
When times are hard, look at what is going right and build positivity from there. Life is never just one thing. Positive and negative both surround us, but if you focus on the good things it will give you the strength to overcome the negative.
I recently went to see the movie Christopher Robin. It was wonderful, and I loved it. I’ve also got another part of this whole Hundred Acres Wood thing going on, though. When my mother was pregnant, she was told that I was a boy because my heartbeat was so strong (once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away), so my dad decided my name would be Christopher Robin since he loved the A.A. Milne books as a child. As you can imagine, it was a bit of a surprise when I was born without the requisite “boy parts”. Needless to say, my parents were in a bind since they hadn’t come up with any girl names. Not to put too much of a fine point on it, I was named Christine, since it’s the closest girl’s name to Christopher.
I have always loved the Winnie-the-Pooh books, and being a lonely child, I spent countless hours exploring the Hundred Acre Woods with Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Owl and Eeyore. I had a wonderful childhood spent in fantasies that were altogether real. What were your favorite playmates when you were young?
I just wanted to post this quote I found for those of you who are dealing with hyper-critical family members. One of the terrible things about being criticized for everything you do, is how it dismantles your sense of self. Remember when someone is belittling you, it says more about them then it does you. No matter how hard it may be, look within for your sense of self, stand tall, and even if you have to dance in the shadows, dance.
This is just a little reminder for you. Try not to fill your brain up with negativity. Even though negative thoughts are so easy, don’t be tempted to dwell on them. While we all know that it’s easier to think about how terrible a problem is, the only way to change it is to think of a solution.
While not every problem has a solution, sometimes the solution is to simply stop dwelling on the problem. In life, there are always going to be things that we can’t change. We can’t change someone else, so a solution is to stop dwelling on their behavior and think about something you can change – like not letting what they choose to do and say bother you.
Of course, this is hard – negativity (complaining, dwelling on situations) is so much easier than positivity, and finding a solution. Remember, it’s a process. Like anything, it will take you quite a while to focus your energy on what you can do. Put your thoughts toward positivity and see how it changes your life.
There are many reasons why people don’t manage to attain their goals. Some people simply lose interest, others change their goals, but some of us may have self-esteem issues that make it difficult for us to reach the goals we set for ourselves. Of course, when this happens, what little self-esteem we do have takes a hit, and attaining any goals we set then becomes that much more difficult.
Sometimes when we have low self-esteem we can either set goals that are too high, (perfection anyone?) or too low. Setting the bar too low doesn’t really help with improving self-esteem since we denigrate whatever it is that we attained. On the other hand, perfection never helped anyone ever. I can get caught up in the perfection issue way too easily. As a matter of fact, I’ve managed to sabotage myself nearly every time I’ve decided to start working out by insisting on getting up every morning at a certain time – no exceptions. As a matter of fact, I really think that the only reason I’m still working out this time is because I allow myself to “sleep in” (if 6:00 am can be considered sleeping in). By allowing myself an extra hour or hour-and-a-half of sleep once or twice a week, I’ve taken the perfection out of the mix. And, I’m still getting up and working out. Take that perfection!
So, when you start your goal setting process ask yourself if your goal is based on perfection. If it is, change that goal. If it’s a goal that’s way too low, ask yourself if you want to keep it, attain it and then make the goal a little harder, or do you want to just set a slightly harder goal. Being able to attain part one of a goal and then commit to part two may give you the self-esteem boost that you want. By attaining goals, we improve our self-esteem, and that is a good thing! I’ve left an interesting link for you to read below.