Today, my husband and I have been married for 31 years. Unbelievable, if you know what I mean. I’ve been married for far longer than I was not. If you believe me about my age, I was an extremely young bride – talk about robbing the cradle.
We’ve gotten to the point where people ask about how we managed to stay married all these years. My answer? For some of it he was working out-of-state, and even out-of-country. Was it easy? Of course not. When we had young children, there were “arguments” that occurred out on our front lawn that consisted of the pair of us yelling at the top of our lungs. I was even known to stand on the coffee table and whisper-scream since the kids were asleep upstairs. There was even one occasion when he was so angry that he pulled the screen door off its hinges. This was years ago, and we still don’t have a screen door.
However, now when we have disagreements neither one of us gets that upset. In fact, we each have our say, and then just continue on with our lives. Is that healthy? I don’t know, but it seems to work for us. There are things he does that absolutely drive me crazy, but I have just learned to accept them, since I’ve realized that in the long run he’s not going to change, and if you look at the over-all picture, they really aren’t all that important anyway. And, I know that there are things that I do that drive him crazy as well, but he doesn’t flip out over them either. In other words, we’ve learned to live together in a much more accepting manner.
Are there things that I wish he’d change? Of course…I wish he’d stop smoking and eat healthier food. Money is another issue that we’re working on. The number of shoes and boots that get left in my dining room and living room can drive me crazy, but every once in a while, I pick them all up, put them in the closet and have a shoe-free zone (for a very few days). Again, this is really not a huge deal in the larger scheme of things. I think that people just have to think about what they want to make a big deal about, decide if the upset is worth it, and then just carry on. Really, you have to accept who the person is. If you married with the idea that you would be able to change the other person, then you started your marriage from the wrong point of view. Love and accept each other. That’s all.