Dealing with an Overly Critical Family Member


Family life can be fraught with all kinds of problems.  When four adults are living together, some issues are bound to come up.  However, the situation at my house regarding one family member has reached the nuclear stage.  Some recent criticisms include: I’m not “friendly enough” when I thought I was being perfectly friendly and nice; my tone of voice is as if I’m being critical (while I was asking someone how their day was), or that it’s just not “nice”; and the latest, while I was on the phone with my daughter – I was told that I looked like I “hated” who I was talking to.


It seems that no matter what I do or say, how I say it, or look, there is something, or should I say everything wrong with me.  I’m at my wits end.  Does anyone have any suggestions about how I can deal with this person?  I end up in tears, feeling badly about myself when I know I haven’t done anything wrong.  I’ve been trying to hide, but that can only be accomplished sometimes.


I’m not the only person who is being singled out, but I’m really dealing with more than my share of criticism.  In other words, no one else in the family is being bullied/abused as much as I am.  The sad thing is that I haven’t done anything to deserve this behavior.  I’ve only loved and helped this person all their lives.  I don’t understand it.   I truly don’t know what to do.  Does anyone have any solutions?  Please let me know.


2 thoughts on “Dealing with an Overly Critical Family Member

  1. It sounds like you have a verbal abuser in your life. Check out books about how to deal with this. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans is a good one. If you go to your library and find that book, there will likely be others around it on the same topic (around the 362’s or so) and you may find one more suited to your situation.

    • I actually have Patricia Evans book. But I really need to re-read it. My marriage has been verbally abusive on and off, so I’m sure that’s where the behavior was “learned”. Thanks for your input. 🙂

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