Verbal abuse is just as devastating as physical abuse. The only difference is that you don’t have visible scars to prove that you’ve been abused. Without the visible bruising, it can be all too easy to pretend that you haven’t been hurt. After all, where is your proof? As I know from first-hand experience, it is really easy to be gas lighted when it comes to verbal abuse. You become confused and can start to believe the abuser when you are told everything is either your fault, or in your head. After all, there is no proof; and just as with a physical abuser, the verbal abuser is often seen as charming to other people. Also, because there is no actual evidence of the abuse, the abuser denies that anything has happened. It’s the hit and run of the abusive world. After all is said, the abuser goes on his marry way leaving the abused to hide in the dark alone.
There are signs of verbal abuse that anyone in a relationship should be aware of, whether or not you feel that your partner is a bully. They can include: taking the brunt of a “joke”; always feeling like you are walking on egg shells to avoid setting off a temper tantrum; comments that are designed to make you lose your confidence; if you say that your feelings have been hurt, the problem is you – you are too sensitive.
The above websites can offer you more information and help then I can. This is a real problem, and it seems to be growing. Bullies are bullies, and there is no excuse for their behavior. I don’t believe in the thinking that they themselves must have been bullied, and so we must feel sorry for them. I was bullied, and since I know what it feels like, I wouldn’t want to abuse someone else.
Know and understand what is going on. Above all else, don’t allow yourself to be gas lighted. Don’t forgive and forget, when someone shows you who they are, pay attention!