I think that I’ve touched on this topic before, but it really bears repeating. Toxic people can make your life a living hell; especially if you live with one or more of them.
How can you tell if someone is a toxic person? Well, here are a few traits they seem to have: they are controlling – everything is “A OK” as long as they are in control – of you; they are jealous – if you find yourself hiding any fact that you’ve done well at something from them, you’ve definitely got a toxic person in your life; they lie – not just little white lies that we all use to make other people feel better (yes, that haircut is just wonderful!) but lies for basically no reason, just to lie; they play the victim – in any situation (even if it doesn’t apply to them) they are the victim; they gossip – consistently; they are greedy – what is it that they can gain from any and all situations; they always come first – with no regard to you; they are negative – you know those people – they could win the lottery and still find a way to flip it to the negative side; they are arrogant – and put you down all the time just to prove they are better than you; they are always right – if you disagree you could be in for a violent argument.
So, if you, like me, have to deal with a toxic person on a routine basis, what can you do to protect yourself? Yes, I do mean protect yourself. The lovely part of toxic people is that they can ruin your life. When someone else insists that life is terrible, everything is worse for them regardless of what is going on in your life – oh, the doctor thinks you may have cancer? Well, that will impact their life much more than yours; and you had better realize it and provide them comfort and support – forget about your comfort and support! The examples could go on and on…so, what can you do for yourself?
Well, I’ve found that if I use affirmations on a daily basis, I can force myself to believe that I am not personally responsible for the toxic person’s feeling of victimhood; negativity; or necessity to make me feel “less than”. When in those situations, I find that I can more easily “consider the source” and not let it influence how I feel about myself. Another thing that I’ve found to be really helpful is that I’ve begun to turn my attention to things that matter to me. I’ve finally come to realize that I can’t “fix” them, but I can “fix” myself. In order to do that, I’ve begun to spend time changing the things about myself that I feel need improvement. Not improvement to make the toxic people in my life “happier” (if there is such a thing), but to make myself happier. The more I do this, the more I find that these people don’t affect me nearly as much as they used to. In fact, I’ve been feeling better about myself lately than I have in years. There are other things you can try, and you can find them at the following websites.
So, I hope that this has helped you with the toxic people in your lives. Let me know how you cope with them.