I’ve recently looked up the acronym F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. Now, I couldn’t unearth the actual person who came up with this, however there was an abundance of articles and videos all over the Internet. I thought that I would write about this as a counterpoint to my post on Monday about my fear of “giving in” to my Fibromyalgia.
I know that fear is really false evidence appearing to be real, since I know in my heart of hearts that I wouldn’t just pull the covers over my head and live in my bed. I’m simply much too stubborn to do that. But boy does it sound cozy especially with all the nasty weather we’ve been having, though. I know that won’t happen, but there are so many aspects to this fear. Other people with this disease need to use canes and walkers – so will it happen to me? I doubt it. The only problem I’ve had with walking is a bunion that is just being extremely difficult at the moment. I should have had it taken care of years ago, but never felt that it was the “right time”. Of course the “right time” will never in a million years appear, so I’m really good at putting it off and putting it off. Just like actually going to a doctor. I feel okay, why bother? I mean that I get up and keeping on going, why would I need to go see a doctor? I’m sure that you can see where I’m going with this. I live in the land of de Nile.
But is this bad? I’m of two minds on this one. On the one hand I can dismiss most of my F.E.A.R. as it will most likely never happen. On the other hand, how can I be sure that I’m okay? I mostly feel okay. I’ll never see 35 again. For the past (I won’t say how many) years my birthday has morphed into the anniversary of my turning 35. I usually don’t spend a lot of time thinking about my age. But this winter I noticed that I was “slowing” down a little. Instead of happily bouncing around while hauling wood, I felt tired. (Yes, there are times that I have the attitude of an obnoxious Jack Russell). But, the little voice that lives in my mind told me that it could have a little something to do with the fact that I hadn’t been working out as religiously as I ought too. If you don’t use it, you lose it. Too true, by the way.
What has my solution been, you ask? Well, I started getting up at 5 am and working out. The surprising thing about this is that at the same time I started to set tasks for myself to do of 30 minutes to an hour long during the day. It’s amazing what I’ve been able to get done. Knowing that I only have to do something that I dislike (checkbook and budget set-up) for only half an hour is great. You can manage to do almost anything for just half an hour, even if you hate it. My energy level has been up, and I feel better than I have in a while.
I have to say that looking at my fear, and understanding that it’s actually F.E.A.R. has helped tremendously. I’m not saying that other people don’t have serious problems with Fibromyalgia; I’m just saying that I’ve been lucky enough not to have it too awfully bad. And for that, I thank my lucky stars; and from now on won’t go looking for problems that I don’t have.