I was reading the Saturday edition of the “Ask Amy” column in my morning paper when I realized Amy’s response is perfect. The letter writer had gotten a bad review at work; discovered her boyfriend was dating someone else; one of her friends decided she didn’t want to be friends with her anymore; and she was turning 30. What a week! Amy’s advice? Concentrate on the one thing she could do something about – work and take steps to figure out what the problem was and change.
So, great advice and it reminded me why I’m doing what I’m doing. There are so many things in my life that can’t be changed, that I’ve found myself focusing on those. Instead, I’ve got to refocus on what I am able to change.
Researchers have discovered (article in Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/forming-new-habits_b_5104807.html) that it actually takes between 66 and 254 days for a new habit to become a new behavior in your life. Wow. I thought it would be a shorter process, but there’s no such thing as instant gratification when it comes to improving yourself. So, now I know this will be a much longer process, and I can stop worrying that it was taking so long. It hasn’t been nearly 66 days yet. Being the impatient person that I am, I can hopefully take some relief in knowing I haven’t failed.
As they said in the article, habits are a process, not an event.