Earning Ability and Worthlessness

Often-times people judge others on their earning ability. Saying that those who make less, are of less value. This is happening to me on a daily basis. I am a highly educated women, who stayed home to raise, and home school her children. My kids went to school to grades five and two. Then due to a lack of textbooks in our local school, I home schooled each child until high school. They went to a smallish high school that had an excellent program. My kids didn’t “fall through the cracks”. They had a good education, and my daughter has chosen to go on to college. My son is working in a good career where he both earns good money and will be able to move up the chain of command, so to speak.
However, my earning ability, or lack thereof, is making my life difficult. I wrote before about how I worked with the elderly. I job that although important, and of social value, isn’t well paid. Someone close to me has decided that since my earning ability is low, I have no value as a human being. What I do other than work, also has little or no value. This is where the stress that I have been dealing with is coming from. I have done other things with my time. I’ve raised two children. I’ve written numerous short stories and an entire novel. However, because I haven’t made any money from them, they have no value. Just like me.
I thought that if I tried to transform my life by becoming more healthy, fit and happy within myself, I would be able to handle the stress of someone else finding me worthless. This is the point where I hit my head against the wall. Every time I try to transform. It seems as though I get to a certain point, and this person decides to make sure I am reminded over and over again exactly how valueless I am. In the past I’ve let this person steamroll over me, while I once again cringed in the corner, believing myself to be valueless.
Not this time. This time I am going to go on with my transformation. It’s been 28 years of this, and that’s too long to time to continue down the same path. No more.

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2 thoughts on “Earning Ability and Worthlessness

  1. May I say this: If you let what ‘other people’ think or do rule your life, you will have low self worth and always have a fear of not matching up to others expectations.

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